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Crazy Democrat Conspiracy Theories

When a high profile Democrat/liberal talking head floats an insane theory about a Republican, do they kow it’s insane? Do they float these theories becuase they themselves are nuts and actually believe them, or because they think significant numbers of their base are mentally deficient enough to believe them?

If you think I’m being harsh or engaging in ad hominem attacks calling people nuts, let me give you a few examples of theories posited by mainstream Democrats:

The October Surprise

George Bush and others, including William Casey, Congressman Daniel Rostenkowski and Senator Robert Byrd flew to and from Paris in October of 1980 to hold secret talks with the Iranians to get them to delay release of the American hostages until after the election. George Bush was then supposedly flown back to America on the CIA’s hypersonic spy plane, the SR-71 — to get him back before anyone would notice that he was gone.

If you believe this you’re just plain stupid or outright nuts. Not too stupid or nuts to be in the U.S. Congress though. In February of 1992 243 Democrats in the House of Representatives passed a resolution to establish a task force to investigate this delusion and $3 million with which to do it. You can read congressional record for yourself [1]. Don’t miss Bob Dornan’s concise explanation of why such a trip would be impossible.

Remote Control Debate

A bulge under the President’s jacket during debates with John Kerry was really a radio receiver so that (who else) Karl Rove could feed him answers to debate questions.

Mother Jones magazine even trotted out a “NASA scientist” who said it was “most likely” a receiver and a salesman who claimed his company sold a similar device, including a tiny wireless earpiece hidden in the ear canal, to the military. The component causing the large bulge in the back was the receiver/descrambler portion.

I hate to break the news to Mother Jones, the NASA scientist and the radio salesman, but radios haven’t been that big since the 1940s. I have personally seen receivers with descrambling capability you can hide in your ear canal. And, to point out the obvious, what’s the use of having a device on your back to unscramble a radio signal if it’s just going to be rebroadcast to an earpiece?

Even Paul Begala didn’t try to make this fly.

Not all far lefties are delusional. Credit where credit is due. It was the left wing blogs who figured out soon after the debate that the device was almost certainly a portable defibrillator [2]. Of course, the lefties – at least the more sane ones – were more than happy to have a new conspiracy theory (what terrible affliction would soon render Dick Cheney President?) to replace the radio theory.

John McCain knew the Questions

John McCain listened in his car and at the Saddleback Church to Pastor Warren interview Barak Obama and, therefore, knew what questions he would be asked in advance.

Admittedly, this is the least insane of the three, and probably falls more into the “reaching for straws” category than the “delusional” category, but it is still an example of a conspiracy theory forwarded to explain away a Democrat’s failure. It wasn’t enough to just try to spin Obama’s lame performance (where are those telepromptors when you need them?) as not being lame, there just had to be some Republican conspiracy at work.

It is possible that McCain listened to the first ten to fifteen minutes of questions and answers in his limo on the way to the church (I don’t believe it for a second, his monstrous ego wouldn’t let him do anything so “dishonorable”), but everyone agrees that he was in a green room with no way to hear the questions for the last 45 minutes of the debate – unless W loaned him Karl Rove and one of the magic radio receivers.

I’m not even going to get into the plane crashes involving Ron Brown and Paul Wellstone, crack in the inner cities, 9/11 or the nine dozen other examples of why the water supply for the upcoming Democratic convention ought to be dosed with Haldol.

Is it possible that radio talk show host Michael Savage is correct? Is liberalism a mental disorder? Maybe at least a symptom of a mental disorder?

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