Car Keyers Anonymous anyone???

By: Suzanne Penegor

A hugely underreported yet vicious property crime that happens to thousands of Oregonians is car keying. This form of property damage seems to be either politically motivated, which means some sicko doesn’t like the car you drive, or maybe some kid who has nothing better to do so he/she gets some bizarre kick out of incurring property damage to others.

Preface: This last weekend, I was in Florence for 5 entire minutes at a local business, when my new car was keyed! Police estimated damages amounted to $1,000.00. They are currently looking for anyone who might have witnessed or even participated in this crime. Let me also say this all happened in broad daylight.

This type of crime at least requires some kind of labeling””ecoterrorism maybe””and its perpetrators should get some kind of required lengthy sentence and be forced to participate in car keying therapy or something.

I propose we start a new statewide focus group””Car Keyer’s Anonymous–CKA! “Hi my name is John Doe, and I’m a car keyer”. Don’t you think we should use taxpayer money to fund it like other 12 step programs which have been effective”¦ just take a look at White Bird Clinic here in Eugene! There is hope on the horizon for these people!

Why don’t the media talk about these crimes? Folks in Eugene who have been caught on camera for keying have been convicted as felons for such things, so it’s not a petty crime by any means.

Sure, it’s vandalism, but since it often happens to SUVs or nicer cars it either has to be a political crime or a class-envy crime eh? Either way, the folks who are doing it have some serious antisocial issues””I recommend car-keying therapy!

A gal I know had both sides of her Mercedes keyed. Evidently one side wasn’t enough. Another kid I know, who attends college, drives an SUV (keep in mind college kids tend to be broke and he probably got his car for safety reasons from a family member) had his car keyed so badly it dented the panels and cost him $6,000 to repair. The average cost to a property owner/car owner for this kind of crime is $1,000. I can’t imagine some sicko getting their jollies over committing this kind of crime.

At any rate, it’s time to address this type of recurring property crime and shed some media attention on it. It’s just not politically cool, people–on the contrary it’s completely hateful and antisocial! To the creeps out there who are doing it, all I can say is karma, baby, karma.

Another interesting issue re this kind of property crime to SUVs is that it focuses attention on the fact that quite often those on the left perpetuate these types of crimes to show their intolerance of others who don’t do what they consider to be “politically correct.” Yeah right, tolerance is progressive! What gives the libs the right to impose their will on others by committing property crimes against them?

As the victim of 2 car-keyings, and a friend of other such victims, I would like to say to those who do it: shame, shame, shame.