Twas the nigth before Christmas (Oregon Version)

The Week Before Christmas

Twas the week before Christmas and all through Salem, not a pol was silent, no matter what ached “˜em. The pols were busy with kicker checks post haste; The mess that was made just couldn’t be faced.

The gov half frantic was almost in tears, he had just settled down to work with his fears, when out in the hall there arose such a clatter, up sprang the pols to see what was the matter!

Away to the door they all flew like a flash; the one who was leading went down with a crash. Then what to their wondering eyes did appear, but a budget in the red I certainly fear!

When the gov saw this, he almost grew sick. He knew in a moment something must be done quick! He ran to the door (it was quite a strain) but he shouted, and stamped, and he called them by name:

“Now Peter! And Richard and Teddy and Gary! Now get to your places, and do not tarry. Now get away! Get away! We are not merry!

As leaves that before the wild west wind fly, The pols, pell mell, started scurrying by. They ran to the blue room and skipped down the aisle; their faces were shining and each had a smile.

First came a tax increase – a marvelous thing -then came the pay raises, (ka-ching, ka-ching). As the bill was brought in there arose a great shout; The pols were merrily romping about.

The state they were in could lead to a riot; the gov was sure, if prodded, they would try it. His nerves how they jangled! His temples were throbbing! The rush of his breath sounded almost like sobbing!

The lines of his face were as crazy as a mask; It was plain that he felt right up to the task. The look in his eye might have tamed a wild steer, And the pols they loved it; they did every year.

No tear from his eye and no shake of his head soon led me to think that he wished Oregon dead. He spoke not a word but went straight to his work, signing the bills, putting people out of work.

But at last it was finished and placed into law; Then came the bell and the people were appalled! Their shrill little voices soon faded away and waste was restored by the end of the day.

As he looked at the Capitol all glistening and tall, he smiled as he whispered, “Merry Christmas to all!”