10 Headlines from the year 2029

1. Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions

2. Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

3. Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

4. 85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

5. Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
6. Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

7. Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

8. Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

9. France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!

10. Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

…now create your own.