ABC, CBS Record All-time Lows for Nightly Newscasts

Both ABC and CBS have experienced record-low viewership last week. Their collective heads are scratching as they attempt to figure out why. There are several reasons for the all-time lows in viewership, which are clearly explained here.

1. With such engaged lives, more and more Americans are twittering and tweeting and tweaking their lives away on their cell phones. With such demands, who has time to watch television? This could be it. Twitter and Twitter alone is responsible. Not Gibson or Couric. Twitter.

2. It’s officially summer now, so more and more Americans are outside enjoying the warm weather and the fun activities such weather allows. With so much fun in the offing, who has time to watch television? That’s it —it’s the weather. It must be.

3. The news seems slanted just a tad to the liberal left, whereas survey after survey has shown Americans to be a tad right and to the conservative side of things. Could it be that Americans are getting tired of being told how stupid they are each and every evening by the teleprompter-reading talking heads? No, you can ignore this reason. It can’t possibly be true. Most people need the guidance and direction offered by Couric and Gibson.

4. More news junkies are watching the Fox news programs. The numbers show this to be the case, but why it is happening is anyone’s guess. Who wants to be preached to by an ultra-rightwing, conservative leaning network whose only agenda is to make the left look bad? I would think no one, so this reason should also be ignored.

5. Many have said that both the CBS and ABC networks are in the tank for Obama. Who would want to watch stations that are so obviously biased? We may be on to something here. Best keep scratching the heads on this one.

6. ABC and CBS in particular have climbed aboard the global warming religion and are fully engaged in telling us how to live our lives, how to reduce our consumption, how to destroy our economy, how to feel guilty for our success, and, in general, how to change our miserable lifestyles that are killing this planet. Who wouldn’t want this valuable information tossed at them each and every night? It is what is needed to save the planet. Who would not want to save the planet? I think we can ignore this reason, too.

7. One of these networks is the same network that employs a late night talk show host who thinks it is OK to make outrageous statements about a politician’s underage daughter having intercourse with a baseball player. Could it be that ordinary Americans might find this offensive? No, as it was just in good fun and laughs were had all around. Let’s ignore this reason for sure.

8. The June switch to digital TV did not go as well as planned and millions of Americans are unable to tune it to anything. Now we are on to something here. Of course, this is the real reason fewer and fewer Americans are no longer watching the evening news from ABC and CBS. They can’t watch. And they want to watch. They just can’t make the confusing, expensive, and convoluted switch to digital. This is it. Now CBS and ABC can relax a bit, knowing that it is not their fault for the huge decline in viewers. It is Congress’s fault — they mandated digital TV in such a short, short time.

Knowing that the switch to digital TV is the only reason for the precipitous decline in viewership for both ABC and CBS should give them plenty of reason to sit back and smile. They are doing everything right. If those crazy politicians hadn’t mandated this silly “digital” TV everything would be OK. If we can get enough “magic boxes” out there the viewership will surely return to its lofty levels of the past.

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Posted by at 11:04 | Posted in Measure 37 | 4 Comments |Email This Post Email This Post |Print This Post Print This Post
  • Scottiebill

    CBS ruined its own credibility because they made no effort to discipline Letterman for his outrageous and utterly stupid remark about Sarah Palin’s daughter and ARod. (BTW, why hasn’t ARod said anything about this thing? Could it be that he is fine with Letterman’s remarks?) Now ABC is is the process of ruining its own credibility by getting in bed, naked and panting as it were, with Obama and his inept administration. I do not watch ABC’s programs primarily because the are nothing but a bunch of idiotic and completely inane sitcoms and those ridiculous reality shows. But,now, because of their selling out to Obama, I will never watch anything on ABC, not even the news broadcasts.

  • Vernon

    Nightly news is old news

  • Bob Clark

    I stopped watching all network news several years back as it became apparent these media were largely a mouthpiece for increased socialism. I stopped looking at the Oregonian this year as I couldn’t take it being nothing more than a mouthpiece for local and state government democrat officials. Instead, I have the Wall Street Journal on-line, and cross my fingers its new owner Murdock doesn’t change its perspective.

  • Rupert in Springfield

    No one watches network news anymore.

    Hearing someone say they watch network news is about as unlikely as hearing “nope, I don’t have any tattoos” in a college pick up bar.

    However one does take a certain amount of glee in the Obamamercial being such a flop.

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