Parade Magazine, this past Sunday, published a piece on which candidate, McCain or Obama, seemed the most presidential. More important than some “survey”, I decided to ask Therri and Benton, the young couple from Eugene, what they thought about this most pressing matter — who appears most presidential and why?
Benton: I think Obama appears to be the most presidential of almost any candidate I can recall. First, as Joe Biden pointed out, Obama is the first mainstream African-American “who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy.” Have you seen how thin Obama is? It may be due to his smoking, but he sure looks fit and lean and almost graceful. He is very comfortable in his own skin, and this is vital for anyone who must project a sense of confidence and comforting assurance. That McCain fellow can’t even lift his arms up high over his head in a victory cheer. What’s up with that?
Therri: I don’t think anyone who smokes should be our next president. What kind of example is that for our country? Countless people die each day from smoking and if the president smokes people will think it is OK, just like they did with oral sex after Clinton said it was OK and not really even sex. And just how clean is Obama? I heard he has terrorists for friends, crooks who helped him get his house, and was deeply involved in ACORN, which is perpetrating voter fraud all over the country. And for your information, Benton, McCain still suffers from injuries he received when a prisoner of war serving his country.
Benton: Well, Obama once said he considered serving our nation, and that is enough for me. Obama speaks very, very well, by the way, whenever he has a teleprompter. This is important for any president. Obama even used a teleprompter in a rodeo ring he is so dependent on them. That is why he refused McCain’s invitation to the big series of town hall meetings. It is hard to do a town hall meeting without a teleprompter, so Obama, in a very masterful and presidential way, just said no. Plus, I just love how he has a soft whistle whenever he pronounces an s. You can’t deny that isn’t pretty impressive. Makes him seem so much more articulate and informed and wise and great. And I am sure he didn’t know those bad people who helped him out were even bad people.
Therri: I can’t believe how long it takes Obama to say anything if he is not hooked up to a prompter. Does he have an original thought hiding anywhere in his head or does he endlessly repeat what others have told him to say? He may whistle his s’s, but he sure stutters a lot without the prompter. I think John McCain speaks honestly and sincerely and from both his head and his heart. I trust him. I find it difficult to trust someone who attended a church for 20 years that preaches hatred for America and for white people in general, and then lies about not knowing that was happening.
Benton: Well, at least Obama went to church, even if he never listened to anything or paid any attention to anything that was going on or being said. Remember, Therri, this is about appearance. Who appears most presidential? Not who really is most presidential. This great man, Obama, has it down pat.
Therri: Well, I suppose you have a point there. Obama really got to me that day at the waterfront in downtown Portland. I had a tingle just like Chris Matthews. And I once heard that you should go with your gut — stick with your first instinct, and that means I am going to have to go with Obama despite my misgivings.
Benton: I am so glad you finally saw the light. I was afraid you were going to cancel my vote for Obama with yours for McCain. Remember, if we vote for Obama, according to Biden, we can be assured of the world testing Obama within just six months. And remember, Therri, we have to stand by Obama because Biden said that it won’t be apparent that Obama’s response was the right one. We have to support him no matter what. Even when he meets with terrorists without preconditions, like he promised, or raises taxes and hurts the economy, like he promised, or gets out of Iraq too soon, like he promised, or invades Pakistan like he promised, or allows small businesses to become union shops by secret ballot, like he promised, or to run not as a candidate for president, but as a citizen of the world, like he promised, so that he can “remake the world”, like he promised, or that he might delay his ideas for health care, energy, education, and infrastructure due to the economy, like he promised, or that he will end the age of oil in our time, like he promised but never explained how, and get paid sick leave days and better family leave, like he promised, and get women to make more money, like he promised, and to use tough diplomacy to prevent Iran from getting nuclear weapons, like he promised. This guy will change the world if he even does a fourth of what he promised. And I think he can do all of it. Easily. He is, after all, Barack H. Obama.
We will all be tested, Therri, if he wins, and we must stand tall and support him no matter what. That is the American way. Just get ready.