I have decided to become a Barack Obama Democrat. For years Mr. Obama and his branch of liberalism have scolded me and other conservatives as supporting the rich at the expense of the poor. Despite my protestations and the fact that I give more money to charity in a month than does Vice President Joe Biden in a year I cannot shake the antipathy of the left. Despite my unshakeable belief that the road out of poverty is through job creation rather than welfare, I cannot shake the labels of greed and profiteering cast by the likes of Reps. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and Maxine Waters (D-CA). And despite my routine criticism of the public employee unions for greed and avarice at the expense of the taxpayers, I cannot escape the label of being “against working people.”
I could live with all of that, but a recent squib in the Wall Street Journal finally showed me the error of my ways. Michael Derby reports:
“Americans have recovered only45% of the wealth they lost during the recession, adjusted for inflation, the Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis estimated. . .
“. . . The bank said data that shows a near complete recovery in total aggregate wealth is misleading. The analysts argue aggregate household net-worth data aren’t adjusted for inflation, population growth or the nature of wealth. They note a lot of the recovery in net worth has been tied to the stock market, thus is concentrated in holdings of wealthy families.”
Bingo!! There it is. While the recession may have begun under President George W. Bush, the “recovery” is all Mr. Obama’s. All of the major stock market indices have recovered and/or surpassed their pre-recession highs. Wall Street moneychangers and investors like me have increased our net-worths beyond pre-recession levels even when adjusted for inflation. Thank you very much Mr. Obama – the overwhelming campaign contributions given to you have paid off handsomely. (Well, the moneychangers’ campaign contributions, not mine – there are some things not even a pig will do.)
Interest rates are being held at artificial low levels so that the moneychangers can borrow at rates next to nothing and arbitrage the hell out of it in an increasing stock market. Oh, please, don’t bother me with this ridiculous notion that low interest rates will stimulate industrial investment – we’re busy hoarding our cash and using it like our friends on Wall Street. And the idea such investment is going to stimulate job creation; well the numbers show that didn’t happen – total non-farm employment peaked at the end of 2007 at 138,042,000 while the most recent data for April of 2013 pegs the numbers at135,474, 000. Still down 2.5 Million jobs and that is not adjusted for the growing workforce that has increased by 1.38 Million during the same period. [All figures are from the United States Department of Labor, Bureau of Labor Statistics.] Silly boy, job growth occurs in the small business sector of our economy and the moneychangers are not lending money to them for expansion purposes – way too risky, don’t you know. And besides most of those in the small business sector are either Republicans or so busy trying to keep the doors open that they cannot be bothered with Democrat politics.
But don’t worry, unemployment rates are down and that is all we care about. Don’t bother me with the fact that the unemployment figures simply represent those receiving unemployment benefits and doesn’t include those who have given up or run out of benefits. I’m telling you that the falling unemployment numbers are proof positive of the benefits to working people from Mr. Obama’s policies and it doesn’t matter that there are still 2.5 million fewer jobs today than there were before the recession began and that another 1.38 million people have entered the workforce with no prospects of a job. Who are you going to believe, me or your lying eyes?
So there it is. I’m done being a conservative and by default a Republican. I’m going to be an Obama Democrat and enjoy my increasing wealth while the rest of you go whistle. I’ve been practicing getting dewy eyed and developing a quiver in my voice when I talk about the children – and I always talk about the children. I’ve been practicing my empathetic frown when I hear the plight of the poor, or the down trodden, or whatever group we are feigning concern about this week. And I’ll be at the rallies marching with my brothers and sisters (just as long as you hold the march after trading has closed on Wall Street – first things first, eh.)
And mind you, I don’t want to be just any kind of Democrat – only an Obama Democrat or a public employees union Democrat so I can retire to the beaches of Mexico with large women in purple T-shirts, drink margaritas and laugh at the rest of the world.