Help Wanted – Publisher at Oregonian

Excellent salary and benefits package.
Must be willing to support the rights of all minorities (race, gender, preference, etc.).
Must be willing to instruct others on how to vote and think.
Must support extreme green initiatives except at the paper itself.
Must support light rail no matter the facts, the costs, or the results.
Must be willing to suppress news stories for 10, 15, even 20 years if any harm could come to a democrat politician.
Must be at ease firing people, reducing their salaries, decreasing their benefits.
Must be willing to furlough workers one day a week for four weeks each 10 weeks.
Must be willing to be bold and charge more for the newspaper and must be willing to explore charging access to the award-winning website.
Must look to AP for most canned stories – especially business pages.
Must be willing to put half page ads on the front page if that’s what it takes.
Must be willing to cancel any conservative cartoons.
Must be willing to relocate in 3-5 years.