Ode to METRO

John Ludlow_thb

by John Ludlow

1METRO is the shepherd….I do not want.

2It maketh me to buy up green pastures: It preventeth me from building beside still waters.

3It sappeth my soul: It leadeth me in the paths of regionalism for Portland’s sake.

4Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of METRO, It fears no upheaval: for METRO says “I’m with you and my rod and my staff will guide thee.”

5METRO preparest a table before me in the presence of mine “stakeholders”: It anointest my head with assurances they that are listening.

6Surely pleading and struggling for local vision and control shall follow me… all the days of my life: and I will NOT dwell in the house of METRO forever.

John Ludlow is the Clackamas County Commission Chair

  • Sally

    nobody should make fun of an agency trying its best to save the earth. They are dedicated peoples that run that place and help get us from place to place without polluting the planet, our mother, the earth.
    I say applaud them for doing what is right, no matter the cost. They need a living wage, too, and what they do is not easy. They are professionals and are as important as doctors and lawyers in the overall scheme of things. At least they are to me…..enough said….I say GO TRI MET, GO!!!

    • MaxRedline

      Actually, Sally – Metro has few professionals (apart from professional politicians and bureaucrats) and they are not trying to “save” anything. You, sadly, are delusional.

      • guest

        Amen and never forget Clackamas County never wanted to be a party to the Metronomic convolution zit’s get go.
        That said, reset Clackamas County to vote for separation like a Damascus steeled resolution current resolution in progress.
        Really folks, all Metro is…a zoological specimen that takes your peanuts and spits back empty shells while filling the PERS’s pots of superfluous goverrnmentium fruit and nut cake baking’s, exponentially absolutely!

    • Bob clark

      More like trying its best to Save their and their contracting friends’ high end pay checks and subsidy payouts.

  • Dave Lister

    Amen brother Ludlow. May we all live long enough to see the demise of Metro, and Oregon style central planning, another of our first and onlys.

  • Bob clark

    I agree with the theory Metro is largely a device created by the city of Portland to force more population growth in the city of Portland than otherwise. After all, Metro came about shortly after a mass exodus from portland proper for its surrounding suburbs in the fifties through seventies, and Goldschmidt schemed a way to enrich himself and his Portland supporters. Thus Metro.

    Having lived in the “sprawl” of Tigard, and now the ever denser Portland; I really don’t experience much difference between so-called “sprawl” and current day Portland.

  • redbean

    Great post. Loved the nod to the faux public meetings. Thanks for the laugh.

  • Now is past time to grind’m

    Bubbas goo you want to continue paying ad infinitum boo coo dollars to Metro to baby sit our/your children @ untold dollars per synapse hour?
    Didn’t think so – and, so to vote or swat out of existence, this $uperfluous OMGfly hovering over our region dour by dour.
    Wake up now to das disERECTOR SET and set it assailing in a bong boat out to where the shrimp boats are swamped aboard still seeking a ride aboard the grape wipe whale clocked in anti transparent ideology esplanade’s, shitz-key!

  • Ron Swaren

    Hey, John Ludlow. Clackamas County should have a bridge crossing from Oak Grove to Lake Oswego. Then you wouldn’t have to send all your stupid cars through my neighborhood—Sellwood! It’s already dangerous to cross—but Clackistan wanted a four lane highway through there, anyway—Thanks a lot. Yes METRO is bad—why don’t you get your ***** butt in gear and actually do what an official should do?

    • Scam Tram Velocity, eat all

      Say hey Sir, most times agree with you but not on the Sellwood Bridge gong askew.
      Clackamas County desires no indenture ship with Metro. Butt, alas, farced to go along with the Swillycone Orange crime bridge carousing over the Willamette Rive and engrossing into Milwaukie without legit permit. How’s that grab your package of parabawls?

      • Ron Swaren

        Another OC gobbely-gook response.

      • Ron Swaren

        Someone in the Clackistani government should put on their big boy pants and address the planning issues that Clackistan is engendering. This includes Tootie-roll too. There is more to leading than envy that Portland is going to get ahead—-and the schedule of turning farm land into profitable subdivisions to benefit Billy-Farmer is falling behind.

  • Ron Swaren

    This whole place is going nuts, I’m wondering where to run to next? Barbados?

    I think all governments (that we have, anyway) are run by special interests. It’s only whether the right shoe or the left shoe goes first. In the 1970’s there was a big construction boom in the suburbs—and now we see an awful lot of third rate structures around in the burbs—legacy of the big apartment boom, and then following single family houses. But, hey, that gave the county governments more tax revenue for whatever they wanted—schools, treatment plants, big highways, MX missile sites.

    Then the recessions left a lot of big cities with falling populations—and (choke, sob) less money. So, now Portland is embarking on its biggest apartment construction frenzy, ever, and soon the tax coffers will start filling up again with lots of wampum for the social justice warriors and whatever they want—-health clinics, diversity officers, homeless camps, seismically proof bridges (ha! on that one).

    Looks good on paper—but the real world results are more cars and bikes fighting each other, pedestrians walking out into traffic, social activists yapping away in the halls of power, big SUV’s from the ‘burbs whizzing past your door. And most of all, astronomically higher prices (so I guess NY’ers would feel at home??)

    Where would a person in their right mind go?

    • Jay C. VanBureau

      Pacific County Washington.