Something Other Than Politics

We are in the dog days of politics right now. We have one candidate who managed to snag a presidential nomination without entering a primary or garnering a single vote in the primaries that were held. We have another candidate that is spending the majority of his time relitigating every slight – real and imagined – that he has experienced over the last decade, which cost him the last election and is likely to cost him this election. If former President Donald Trump can’t beat a dumbass* like Vice-President Kalamata Harris, then there is something painfully wrong with him and likewise the American voters.

Add to that, the stock market collapse and the likelihood that we have entered a significant recession because the Republicans and Democrats alike have failed to curb deficit spending and the Federal Reserve System waited too long to act to raise rates and they are in process of waiting too long to reduce them. Writing about any of them is not only mind numbing but soul crushing as well.

So let’s turn to something that is of even greater consequence – nose rings. And I don’t mean the tiny clips on the outside of one of the nostrils. I mean the big ones that look like you stole into the dairy farmer’s barn and extracted one with a pair of pliers. I mean the ones that seem to always be glittering from a sheen of snot. I don’t pretend to understand the drivers for young girls (or older women) impaling their noses with metal loops – after all I wore love beads for a period during the Sixties. (Please note that they only required me to pull them over my head when I was done and they did not leave any portion of my body with a hole or scar tissue.)

Apparently there is some miasma that has overcome style and taste and led the oblivious to believe that this disfigurement adds to their beauty. Well they’re wrong. Basically it only reinforces the conclusion that, like their bovine counterparts, they can be led around by the nose. But there is more to the story.

In a July 21, 2024 article in Byrdie, an online style magazine, discussing body piercing, the authors noted:

The thrill of getting a new body piercing is all in choosing the perfect jewelry to showcase it. While it can be easy to get lost in the pretty world of jewelry aesthetics and trends, safety should be the primary factor as even the most stunning piece could put your new piercing at risk. Some types of metals are generally safe, but others can either affect your body’s recovery time, increase the risk of infection, or even react adversely with your skin.

There are particular metals such as pure silver, eighteen carat gold, titanium that are relatively safe, others such as nickel and nickel alloys generally result in infections – open running sores. Given the number of people with nose piercings that I have observed whose hardware glistens with snot or whose noses are generally red moving toward green, I would say those dumb enough to wear a nose ring are likely dumb enough to settle for the less expensive equipment.

The use of nose rings appear to be greatest in the retail trade area – particularly restaurants, and more particularly fast food restaurants. Any open running sore invites health risks both to the customers as well as the employees. Wearing gloves does nothing to prevent the passing of disease if you are continually touching at the sores with your gloved hands. Printed corporate hygiene statements do nothing to prevent passing of disease unless they are enforced – not just posted but enforced.

But look, this is a free country – well, after observing the last four years, mostly a free country – if you want to confuse people, not as to your gender, but rather as to your species, jump to it. And just as it is your prerogative to wear nose rings, it is our prerogative to react within the bounds of reasonableness. You should not be offended if a customer requests someone without a nose ring to wait on them. You should not be offended if customers look away when they are forced to talk to you. And you should not be offended if you get a knee in your face when you insist on squatting down at a table to insure that the customer can behold you in the “total beauty” of your bovine ornament. Or you can use the more subtle but equally effective approach by writing on your bill where it requests a tip: “Nose ring, Noes tip.”

And that is your valuable lesson for today. Trust me it will improve your day – every day.

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*It is my belief that Mr. Trump should beat Ms. Harris by simply reminding voters at every rally and every news conference: “I’m NOT Kalamata Harris!!