Dear John: An open letter from Oregon’s citizens to Gov. John Kitzhaber


by Lars Larson

Dear John,

It has been an interesting relationship for the past twenty years, since we hooked up in 1994. Those cowboy boots and blue jeans, no matter the occasion…the stylish grey hair and folksy manner used to make some of us swoon.  We knew you were a doctor, so we trusted you with our health care…although that Oregon Health Plan practically emptied our bank accounts.  Even you admitted it was a failure.

Then there was the time you walked out the door and declared Oregon ungovernable.  We thought the relationship was over at that point, but you came back and ran again.

Twenty years with you hasn’t done much for jobs here.  Total employment has grown by only 200-thousand…that’s only about ten thousand jobs a year for high school graduates.  Speaking of graduates, too many of the kids in those schools you talked us into spending billions on DON’T graduate. Too many of the students that manage to graduate show up at University of Oregon and Oregon State without the ability to do college level work. What does that diploma actually mean for those students?

You hired that guy Rudy Crew from New York and paid him big bucks. As I recall, Rudy spent a year on vacation giving speeches before he finally walked out early on that three year contract.  That sure was expensive.  But the unions for the teachers and other state workers loved you. You always seem to come through for them.

Dear John-We hoped you would help a lot of us find jobs but you turned your back on the logging industry, the farmers, and the fishermen with rules that put a lot of us out of jobs.  You told us the state wouldn’t let in jobs with coal, oil and natural gas because it would dirty the sky over Beijing.  Did you really think that denying the ChiComs all that fossil fuel would stop them from getting it, John?

Then you brought us Cylvia Hayes.  You were clearly smitten with her. You ordered the Oregon News Media to call her First Lady, even though she’s not. We all watched as those reporters obeyed and rolled over like dogs.

Now we find out that Cylvia been a criminal for much of the past twenty years. She married for money and broke federal laws. We found out that you let her run her private business out of your office with helpers paid for by taxpayers. When she refused to stop last year, your lawyers rewrote the rules so it was all legal. The icing on this very sad cake is she owned a pot farm in Washington state long before it became legal. Despite all her lies to us and to you, we’re supposed to take you at your word, and give you another term?

John, it’s time we broke up.  The boots and the buckle seem a little care worn and the company you choose to keep now seems tawdry, instead of hip and cool.  It’s time we sent you off to your little piece of land on the North Umpqua where your generous P.E.R.S. pension will let you go fly fishing every day, while the rest of us try to clean up the mess you have left behind.

To quote a famous Dear John letter written a long time ago…

“I’ve always thought of being in love as being willing to do anything for the other person—starve to buy them bread and not mind living in Siberia with them—and I’ve always thought that every minute away from them would be hell—so looking at it that [way] I guess I’m not in love with you.”

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Posted by at 05:26 | Posted in 2014 Election, Gov. Kitzhaber | 10 Comments |Email This Post Email This Post |Print This Post Print This Post
  • Bob Clark

    It is pretty incredible you have President Franklin Roosevelt who for all his weaknesses did manage to keep the country from going communist and successfully navigated the country through a very scary world war. He won four terms during the time (1930s to early 40s). Yet after all this, not too long after his death in 1945, the U.S adopted a two term limit for the office of president.

    I think Oregonians should give real thought to Constitutionally limiting a governor to no more than two terms, also, over his/her lifespan.

    The one down side which is significant is there are actually worse potential governors out there lurking than Kitzhaber. I would put Tina Kotek (Speaker of the House) and Secretary of State Kate Brown in this camp. If Kitzhaber wins his fourth term, then we are looking at Wheeler subsequently (years 2017 to 2024). If Richardson pulls off a miracle and wins this Governor’s race, then maybe we have Richardson (2017-2024), followed by wheeler (2025 to 2032). I really like this latter scenario. By the end of this horizon, I am living on borrowed time and burying my head in the sand away from political activity (knock on wood!).

  • Leathermouth

    Your letter is right on the mark! Kitzhaber and his Bimbo have got to go!

  • Jack Lord God

    The fact that you have governor who has sat over clear corruption (gf Cylvia) clear incompetence (Cover Oregon) and clear crony capitalism (Columbia River Crossing) and stands virtual shoe in success points to one thing – no matter how bad the job performance, any Democrat wins.

    Is this because Republicans run awful candidates out of touch with the populace at large? Hard to argue that in the last cycle with Dudely. Moderate as hell, whatever liabilities Dudley had were insignificant compared to the fact that he had an R after his name.

    It’s really quite simple. Oregon has reached critical mass were governments main purpose is to assure a free flow of money from the taxpayer to the public employee unions. Any concern other than that is totally secondary.

    The solution? Republicans need to stop throwing money after candidates trying to be ever more like Democrats. What they need to do is forgo winning elections for a period, stop putting money into those elections, and start educating the public on how they are being ripped off.

    Prime example? The Cover Oregon board. These jerks sit at the public trough, sucking down tax dollars for fat cat paychecks consistently voting not to dissolve their positions. Is anybody aware of this in Oregon? Not very likely. Are Republicans making an issue of it? Nope. Should any governor survive this kind of idiocy, combined with scamming gf and a legacy of expensive failures? Nope. Will Kitz be reelected? You bet your bottom dollar he will. Because trying to out moderate a Democrat is a losing game. Point out the corruption. The absolute unconscionable wasting of tax dollars. Never will happen.

  • Oregon Native

    Is Lars Larson capable of making a statement without lying?

    This “open letter” says it’s from “Oregon citizens.” Except it’s not from any Oregon citizens. It’s from a single Washington citizen.

    • reel native oregonian

      D’oh blozer., App U, Oreconn snitizden!

  • Paul

    John is the man! Even with the lawless bimbo.
    We must keep him in Salem.
    He is so good to us all.

    • Nuls illegitimi carborundum

      Carp the DNC angels sing, praising the dotty gov in Cylvia excesses sigh, for he shall reign for another interminable four years Kitzhabering Oregon’s Constitution like he’s Putin on the Ritz. or else recalled by Sharon as to what a narcissist sublime CONboy he really peers.

  • matt mccleary

    Good one Lars!!! Im damn proud of you and all you do for us REAL AMERICANS……We really do need to clean up our government We need to start at city/county level and work our way up. There is so much corucption its amazing. kitzslobber is nothing but a crook and has been screwing us Oregonians for many years while lining his pocketbook.

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